The Ross 117 – Day 14

78. Hotline Miami [PC, 2012]

Thumping, intoxicating beats are the lifeblood of Hotline Miami, lulling you into a murderous trance as you attempt over and over to eliminate your target in the most surgical fashion possible; there are scant few soundtracks in gaming quite so striking. Everything the game does is almost beyond reproach, yet it’s hard for me to see the package as anything more than bite-sized fun when the mood strikes; death delivered at 300 miles per hour and 20 minutes at a time. For some, that’s game of the year material, and I can certainly respect that position. But venture past those 20 minutes and the repetition sets in so heavily I find myself dashing for the exit as quickly as the game’s mysterious protagonist.

77. Dead Space [PC, 2008]

Developers take note: if you don’t care enough to properly tune your PC ports, then I won’t care enough to buy it. Period. Dead Space is a rather good action-horror game that was absolutely crippled by the worst 360 analog stick deadzone I ever experienced, and in a game where precision shooting is so vital such an oversight is a dealbreaker. I’d like to say that one day I’ll grab the console version on the cheap to experience the game with non-nightmarish controls, but honestly, few games are good enough to double dip on. Dead Space is, by percentage points, not one of them.

76. FTL: Faster Than Light [PC, 2012]

FTL and Hotline Miami are two games that will forever be attached at the hip — two wildly successful indie games with outstanding music and strong core gameplay that simply fails to hold my interest for any extended period of time. Perhaps the fault is on me and my steady diet of JRPGs growing up, as I just can’t find the love inside me for these small-scale projects. FTL gave me an enjoyable six hours, but I really have no desire to return.

The Ross 117 – Day 13

81. F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin [PC, 2009]

Something apparently happened to Monolith between the release of F.E.A.R. and F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin, something very unpleasant. Gone are the terrifyingly intelligent Replica soldiers, gone is the unexpectedly compelling story, and gone gone gone is the ludicrously violent and immediately satisfying combat. Gone also are the endless Armacham offices and warehouses, so score one for Monolith, I suppose.

Clearly, they made a deal with the devil, trading everything good about the original in order to stamp out that one pesky complaint everyone seemed to have with the game. Well congratulations boys, your environmental design has evolved from “monotonous drone” to “occasionally memorable”. As I sit here typing this piece, the mind recalls exactly two distinct areas in F.E.A.R. 2 — an underground laboratory playing host to some particularly annoying enemies, and a dilapidated school which infrequently lucks its way to genuine atmosphere. In F.E.A.R. meanwhile, I could count in my sleep the number of particle effects emitted by one shotgun blast colliding with two soldiers and the plaster board behind them (its 7).

I suppose it’s an apt way to put it — F.E.A.R. 2 is like an average dream: quickly forgotten, and never for a moment missed.

80. Binary Domain [PC, 2012]

Who doesn’t love a good boss fight? People that should stay far away from Binary Domain, that’s who. Because beyond a few excellent encounters with some seriously imposing foes, there isn’t much to recommend Binary Domain as anything other than an average third person shooter with a colorful cast of characters. Shooting is as stock as it comes, though the robot disintegration is notably well done, and the story never grabbed me as much as I had expected it to. Pick it up on the cheap for the three B’s — Bosses and Big Bo.

79. F.E.A.R. Perseus Mandate [PC, 2007]

I had thought it impossible to take the glorious combat mechanics of F.E.A.R. and, without making any invasive changes, manage to render it completely average. Every day you learn a little something new.

If there is one thing in particular that I unashamedly adore about the original F.E.A.R., it is the dazzlingly chaotic particle effects that dance across the screen during the game’s many heated engagements, giving real weight and meaning to every burst of assault rifle fire or every blast from the concussive repeater. Perseus Mandate‘s problem, the complete and utter nullification of this feature I love so very much, is found in the game’s spotlight addition: the VES Rifle.

The VES Rifle has two crippling issues. Firstly, and a bit more on the nose, is that it simply does not have good feedback; the report is limp, the appearance is rather dull, and it is not terrible effective. Secondly is the infrared sight that pops up when you aim down the sight. I hate this. The apple-red overlay obfuscates any and all particle effects during combat, including my beloved blood clouds, essentially reducing all gunfights to a more personal version of the A130 mission from Call of Duty 4. Sure, you could just ignore it and spray from the hip, but modern shooter conditioning is a tough habit to break. On it’s own this isn’t too much of a problem — I just wouldn’t use the damn thing — but the game practically forces it into service by making it the enemy’s primary weapon for over half the game; try to use anything else and you will quickly find yourself running dry.

F.E.A.R. remains F.E.A.R., fortunately, and the VES-less middle intervals are where Perseus Mandate really finds its footing, delivering a solid experience worthy of the franchise name. But when it comes to F.E.A.R., there really is only one spectacular feature you could truly cock-up. Miraculously, they almost did.

The Ross 117 – Day 13 Intermission

I spent a few hours today broadcasting my first Twitch stream (shameless plug) among other things, so rather than pinch off the rest of my piece in the final hour, I’ve elected to put together the list as it is up to this point. This is a terrible cop-out, but I remain stalwart and unapologetic.

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117. The Walking Dead

116. Fallout 3

115. Bioshock

114. Dear Esther

113. L.A. Noire

112. Borderlands

111. NBA 2K9

110. Super Paper Mario

109. Deathsmiles

108. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

107. Gran Turismo 5

106. The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

105. New Super Mario Bros.

104. S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky

103. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

102. Red Dead Redemption

101. The Binding of Isaac

100. Crayon Physics Deluxe

99. Journey

98. Flatout 2

97. Burnout Paradise

96. Madden NFL 12

95. ARMA II

94. Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

93. Wii Sports

92. Mario Kart DS

91. Tokyo Jungle

90. Animal Crossing: Wild World

89. Super Smash Brothers Brawl

88. Titan Quest

87. Madden 07

86. FIFA Soccer 11

85. Bioshock Infinite

84. Borderlands 2

83. Portal

82. Battlefield: Bad Company 2

The Ross 117 – Day 12

Continuing to test titles for streaming suitability, today added ZDoom and GZDoom to the list. Today was a good day.

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84. Borderlands 2 [PC, 2012]

When I envision the development the Borderlands 2, I see the entire team huddled around the combat design crew, eyes bulging and sweat pouring as they cheer the boys on like some sort of overzealous sports fanatic; it’s made abundantly clear in the early going that buckets of time and effort were expending in polishing up the gunplay over the disastrous original. And while they did succeed to a respectable extent — shooting here feels much improved — the excruciatingly dull MMO-esque quests than really soured me on Borderlands are back in full effect.

Perfect Dark is the gold standard for FPS objectives are far as I’m concerned, giving you semi-open levels littered with interesting and relevant tasks to accomplish, adding additional objectives on the higher difficultly settings. Sometimes, I find myself daydreaming what the world would be like if modern shooter developers actually studied the genre classics and implemented components that made those games what they were. What a terrific thing that would be.

Until that dream comes to fruition, however, I suppose we’ll have to be content with collecting ten skag heads and reporting to static NPC #8 on purgatorial loop.

83. Portal [PC, 2007]

Another towering molehill of a game, Portal emerges from the void at number 83. Even during the period of frenzied hype and not-yet-buried cake jokes, I never saw Portal as anything more than it was — a rather fun and pleasingly inventive puzzler not worthy by half of the zeitgeist dominance it exerted . Change the developer, and I suspect most would agree.

82. Battlefield: Bad Company 2 [PC, 2010]

Multiplayer shooters have been a dying breed, personally speaking, and Battlefield: Bad Company 2 may have been it’s final member. The campaign was good cheesy fun, with some genuinely hilarious lines from your colorful squadmates, more than I can say for most others. And coming from a background of Counter-Strike and Timesplitters, the chaotic cacophony of Bad Company’s Conquest mode was a real treat. But it eventually fell into disuse after 30 or 40 hours, replaced by another fleeting fling with the hot new model, Battlefield 3. Such is life for the modern shooter.

The Ross 117 – Day 11

Between piecing together these daily entries, poking around with streaming/recording, and cataloging the Dragon’s Crown conversation, my plate has been overflowing recently. Thankfully, these next few days are packed with games that make words come easy and posts run long.

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87. Madden 07 [Wii, 2006]

Madden 07 is one of those precious few titles that seem to truly grasp the Wii’s capabilities and shortcomings, dovetailing tight, arcadey gameplay with some of the most thoughtfully executed waggle on the system.

The Wii’s motion controls are used to full effect, flicking the remote foward to rifle a pass, shunting sideways to stiff arm, or shoving forward to activate the dreaded truck stick. It all works so well because the developers were wise enough to keep the motions simple and the demands relaxed; only kicking presents the occasionally misread, though it’s easily forgiven as the mechanic is a series best.

You have the usual slate of Madden game modes accounted for, but I honestly never fiddled around with them. If I want to guide a team to Franchise mode glory or create a fully tuned and customized league, there are other editions that handle those features much, much better. Where Madden 07 succeeds is on the field. If Madden NFL 12 is the best game of football on consoles this generation, then the Wii’s Madden 07  is the most fun, and I’ll take the latter any day of the week.

86. FIFA Soccer 11 [PS3, 2010]

Something must be said regarding FIFA Soccer 11 before all else; two things in fact. Firstly, the DualShock 3 analog sticks are perhaps the game’s greatest enemy, the convex curvature seemingly designed to buck my thumbs off at every turn. And second, I never touched anything outside of Player Career Mode and Ultimate Team, as Football Manager renders FIFA team management completely unplayable. So that’s that.

On the pitch, FIFA puts in a good effort, striking that most difficult of sports game balances by both controlling and animating well. While I wish very much for an optional unified juke input for the less combo-oriented of us, everything else of importance is made easily available; lob passes, through balls, crosses, and shots are all within beginner’s reach.

FIFA unfortunately commits the cardinal sin of only allowing you one custom Pro player at a time. As someone who has no intention of ever testing the online waters, it’s rather frustrating that the only way to experience another position is to delete my current player, one I’ve invested dozens of hours into. Enjoyable hours those were, granted, even if the whole experience rings a bit shallow on reflection.

Not a bad game by any stretch, FIFA provided a personal career mode that no other soccer title could boast. Among this gen’s footy offerings, however, FIFA is a far distant third.

85. Bioshock Infinite [PC, 2013]

I have so much to say about Bioshock Infinite that I would be doing it a disservice compressing my thoughts into this relatively small blurb; look for a full length review sometime soon.

Opinions unexpressed don’t do you much good at the moment, however, so I’ll give you the ultra-condensed version: Bioshock Infinite is the world’s most gorgeous mediocre shooter, with some of the worst pacing in video game history and an interesting story conveyed in the most awkward, anachronistic, and downright indefensible way. Yet another critical darling that’s more style than substance, though at least this time they were right about the style.

The Ross 117 – Day 10

We’ve hacked our way into the thick of the jungle, flush with games that were not terrible enough to rant about, yet not good enough to gush over. These are the average games, a passionate critic’s greatest foe. Humdrum babum.

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90. Animal Crossing: Wild World [DS, 2005]

In truth, I never much cared for Wild World, strange for me to say as the Gamecube original spent enough time in that lunchbox disk tray to be up for gaming tenure. But the magic was never there, never compelling me as it had before to check my town — my town — everyday, if only to keep in touch with a collection of digital animals with crippling speech impediments.

Everything that had been changed seemed to be the worse for it — the rolling “world” effect only served to make your village seem smaller than it was, and I could never find myself at peace with the controls. The addition of accessories was welcome, giving you some much-needing customization options, and I did appreciate the extra floorspace in your upgraded abode.

But there was nothing at all significant enough to shake that nagging feeling of fatigue, that I was just treading ground well-worn. And perhaps that’s all it ever was, a forced experience that was always going to feel repetitive so close to my time with the original.

It’s been many moons since my last visit to the world of Animal Crossing. Perhaps with New Leaf, I will once again find the spark that gripped me so tightly all those years ago.

89. Super Smash Brothers Brawl [Wii, 2008]

I could almost copy wholesale my thoughts on Wild World and splash them down here, for Super Smash Brothers Brawl is another fine game in a style I had been utterly exhausted by.

Brawl came about right at the time where local multiplayer became a thing of the past for me, the hundreds of Melee bouts and thousands of Timesplitters deathmatches with my brother faded away as we became increasingly partial to singleplayer experiences. And without that local competitive element, there just wasn’t anything all that compelling about Super Smash Brothers Brawl. Sure, pounding away at the AI was a decent way to pass time, and the Subspace Emissary wasn’t all that bad the first time through, but as is the case I would imagine with most other fighting games, playing by yourself simply isn’t much fun at all.

88. Titan Quest [PC, 2006]

ARPGs have never particularly been my bag, but I’m capable of the occasional binge on the most personally obscure genres; Titan Quest was party to one of those binges.

Loaded for bear and gorgon, I cut a mean swath through the ancient Grecian landscape, felling man and beast with my traps and poisons and such; it reached a point where I could have a foe bound and immobile while inflicting bleed, poison, and trap damage all at once. These skills and these skills only kept Titan Quest in my rotation for weeks, as there really isn’t much else to recommend.

Eventually, I grew tired of the combat and the game by extension, the other traditional ARPG hooks failing to take hold. And I suppose that’s a apt summery of my relationship with the genre.

The Ross 117 – Day 9

Here, have three more games that don’t objectify women.

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93. Wii Sports [Wii, 2006]

King and catalyst of casual gaming, Wii Sports finds its way onto the list at number 93, a more than respectable showing considering the relative shallowness of the wares on display. In fact, of the five games contained within, only one could really be considered any good at all.

So good, that tennis minigame is, that its existence almost single handedly drags Wii Sports into my top 100, pulling off the impressive feat of being one of the few experiences this generation that was genuinely enhanced by motion controls. It’s none too deep, but with such a freely dispensed addictiveness that I found myself coming back time and again over the years for a few quick matches.

92. Mario Kart DS [DS, 2005]

Christmas morning gifts are always a bit more special than your standard Amazon purchase, especially when it’s a brand spanking new game console. It was one of those Christmas mornings, many years ago, when I came into my first Nintendo DS, and a copy of Mario Kart DS to accompany it; I was so excited that I ran to my still-black room to dig in for the rest of the day. I spent many long hours with the game, amassing an impressive online record in the process (pro snaking MLG esports), but I can’t shake the feeling that this is, from my experience, a lesser Mario Kart.

Gone is the memorable simplicity of Super Mario Kart‘s circuits, and gone is the unique duel driver mechanic of Double Dash. What remains is a Mario Kart that feels more predecessor than sequel, a disappointing step back for a series that seemed to have been heading in the very wrong direction of cheap, careless monetization and annualization. Whether or not that vision played out isn’t mine to say — DS was my last taste of the series — but there is nothing from what I’ve seen that indicates anywhere near the level of progression I expected after Double Dash.

What you see is what you get, and what you get is pure Mario Kart racing. For me, that’s just not good enough anymore.

91. Tokyo Jungle [PS3, 2012]

Tokyo Jungle is a strange game, a very strange game. While I’m not willing to sing it’s praises quite as loudly as some others, I would concede that it goes beyond just being a quirky novelty, if only just.

The loop of Tokyo Jungle entails surviving the harsh post-apocalypse environment as successive generations of beast, from insignificant chick all the way up to overpowering lion. Unfortunately, the means of doing so are rather simplistic, either hunting down other animals as a predator, or grazing on various scattered plant life as an herbivore. This repetition is mitigated somewhat by Tokyo Jungle‘s scoring system, which rewards good play with points to be spent unlocking new, more exciting animals to chose. It’s an incentivization that is more than welcome.

No game can thrive on gimmick alone. Tokyo Jungle manages, in precarious fashion, to emerge beyond such a distinction.

The Ross 117 – Day 8

While much of my brain space is currently dominated by the disgusting and damaging Dragon’s Crown firestorm, the show indeed must go on. Unfortunately, the privilege checking will have to wait for another time, as today’s slate is on a strict diet of dudes, guns, and pigskin.

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96. Madden NFL 12 [PS3, 2011]

Shun me if you must, but I am a longtime Madden aficionado and proud of it; the early to mid 2000’s editions stand as some of the finest sports titles ever created, consuming hundreds of my childhood hours and giving me a startling mental imprint of the Colt’s roster of that era. While Madden NFL 12 isn’t quite up to those lofty standards, it is easily the best game of football on consoles this generation.

Fire up an exhibition in Madden NFL 12, and you will immediately notice a difference from previous installments; the pace of the game has been slowed dramatically, giving every movement so much more weight and meaning; going back to Madden 10, for example, feels almost arcadey by comparison. It’s not Madden 08 PC — more on that much later — but the on the field play is as good as it’s been for some time.

Franchise mode has seen some improvement, such as a revamped scouting system and preseason cut days. It’s small ball in the grand scheme of things, and nowhere near as good as the Owner Modes of yore, yet it’s easy to lose yourself for a couple of seasons in it’s grasp. Player potential remains an imperfect and undesirable solution at best, but let’s be honest, Madden has never gotten that right.

Apologies for the repetition, but with a series as static as this, it’s the most obvious point to make — Madden NFL 12 is a case of “better than it has been, and not as good as it used to be”.

95. ARMA II [PC, 2009]

ARMA II is a massive, bloated, rickety monstrosity of a game, one that I feel I never was able to experience to the fullest despite a playclock topping 70 hours. It’s is a game that seemingly demands to be social, and certainly expects you to customize.

This would all be well and good for me if the in-game map editor wasn’t such a colossal pain in the ass. I recall dumping an out-of-game text file to access the weapon list, then being required to punch in some lines of code to call them up in the level. For those with the time, talent, and inclination, the possibilities are almost endless. For me, it was hopeless.

Much like EVE, it is a game that is much more entertaining to spectate than to play, provided of course that you haven’t put the long, hard hours into learning it’s ways.

Oorah debbadawg.

94. Uncharted 2: Among Thieves [PS3, 2009]

GOTY GOTF NAUGHTY GODS HOLY MACKEREL WHAT A BURGER

It pains me, genuinely pains me, to see Uncharted 2 receive such overwhelmingly gaudy praise from mainstream writers and forumgoers alike, pants positively bursting over the next cool Drake one-liner or epic 10/10 set piece. This is the Citizen Kane of experience gaming, to borrow their phrase, the pinnacle of the craft, and I suppose that deserves some sort of recognition. But if you so much as squeak a word of mechanical acclaim I will find you and erase all evidence of your existence so help me God.

Uncharted 2 is bad at shooting and worse at platforming, to the point where I tend to refer to it not as platforming but rather as a form of path-finding traversal, as player interaction is limited to lazily holding the stick in a certain direction as Drake clambers along the 844th group of stone outcroppings, or perhaps the occasional button press as Drake runs Cinematically™ towards the screen as a bridge crumbles underfoot or some such. It’s rubbish and I won’t hear another word about it.

Bad may have been a harsh assessment, but the manshoot portions of Uncharted 2 are as run of the mill as it gets, and in this industry that’s considerable. Duck behind cover, pop out, manshoot, regen health, finish the fight. Tedium incarnate.

Uncharted 2 could really learn a thing or two from Resident Evil 4 — a set piece is only worthwhile if you have the mechanics to fill it out.

The Ross 117 – Day 7

Nearly a week into this exhausting undertaking, we’ve made our way into my top 100 games of this generation, and I can say now that we a thankfully clear of the garbage heap’s swirling miasma. It you like your packages all neat and tidy-like, consider this the start of the list; I would understand completely if you wished to erase the preceding 18 from memory.

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99. Journey [PS3, 2012]

I said my piece regarding Journey earlier this year in Journey: Through the Eyes of a Mechanical Man, and yes, I am that lazy a bastard. Spoilers in that one, fair warning.

In short, it is a audiovisual spectacle the likes of which we have never before seen in this medium. That is enough to just crack my top 100, and no more.

98. Flatout 2 [PC, 2006]

Flatout 2 is a bit of an odd duck, a largely forgotten sequel to a superior title that still managed to come out quite alright. There’s nothing terrible exciting going on here, but Flatout 2 does manage to deliver a solid arcade racing experience, with some of the most impressive vehicle destruction mechanics available at the time. The action keeps a decent clip, and the cast of opposing racers do a tremendous job in being contemptible scumbags who I would gladly smash into a telephone pole. That the game rewards you for such an act is proof positive that the developers knew exactly what they were doing.

This is a highly entertaining racer that, while clearly not setting the world on fire, will provide a few hours of enjoyable carnage in exchange for a few bucks. Grab it for a fiver, and send Sofia Martinez into a ditch while you’re at it.

97. Burnout: Paradise [X360, 2008]

There was no racing series that saw more play in my youth than Need for Speed, the memories of my time with II, Hot Pursuit, High Stakes, and Porsche Unleashed are as fresh as a spring day, and equally refreshing. While my tastes have skewed more and more to the sim side of things, I can still appreciate a good old arcade racer – see Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed for a great recent example. Burnout Paradise is one such title, with a major reservation.

I’ll confess to spending quite a substantial amount of time screaming through Paradise City at frankly ludicrous speeds with some comically inappropriate classical score blaring through the speakers. You can have so much fun in Burnout Paradise by just driving around it’s sized open world.

But therein lies the problem. As much fun as it may be to free-roam, eventually you’ll have to start pounding away at the game’s various missions and challenges; it is in these challenges that Burnout Paradise’s greatest weakness is revealed – you can’t just hack apart a massive open world into little strips of road and call them tracks. I found myself constantly consulting the in-game map during races to make double sure I was still going the right way. Tracks are such an integral part of any good racing game that it’s a minor miracle Burnout Paradise remains as enjoyable as it is without a single one.

So while I had my fun, I think my time with Criterion is over. I played their version of Hot Pursuit for about an hour, and that was more than enough for me. A racing game without tracks is like Halo without grenades – a bastardization of an established formula that should be criticized, not encouraged.

The Ross 117 – Day 6

Tired more than usual today, the price I pay for sleeping in far too long. Fortunately, all it took to spring right to form was a link to a just-posted professional video game review, one that shall remain nameless; it’s shamefully sophomoric prose proving once more that there is a place for me in this business, provided I crack on hard enough.

The final three “one-hundreds” follow, and it’s a bit of a decompression.

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102. Red Dead Redemption [X360, 2010] [SPOILERS]

Red Dead Redemption is essentially Grand Theft Auto IV in a western setting, differing only in that the minigames are actually a load of fun and everything else is absolutely ruinous.

You can file Red Dead Redemption right alongside other gems such as L.A. Noire and The Walking Dead as games that tried to tell a gritty, realistic story in compelling fashion, and failed catastrophically. The tale of John Marston was surely conceived in a last minute rush to justify Rockstar’s choice of setting, as I cannot fathom for my life why you would write a game with such a flaccid, transparent story arc.

The game opens with John being ordered by some city-slicker government types to kill one of his former running mates in exchange for a full pardon of past sins. Hours of meandering busywork later, you stage a semi-daring assault on Fort Mercer, only to find that the target, Bill Williamson, has escaped to Mexico. Hours of meandering busywork later, you stage a slightly less daring assault on a Mexican palace, managing to kill the target.

John is then ordered to kill another former running mate of his, Dutch van der Linde. You kill Dutch. Hours of meandering busywork later, soldiers are sent to kill John, gunning him down at his ranch. The game ends by avenging his death as Jack, John’s son. I understand it’s easy to be reductionist when attempting to belittle, but the lines that connect these story beats are so insipid and draining that such a tack is justified.

This is the plot that unfolds over a period of roughly 30-40 hours, if memory serves. This is your only motivation to continue, as the gameplay sure as hell isn’t; I may never again play a game with more tedious and ultimately irrelevant missions than this. It’s telling that, when I fired the game up again last year, I exclusively sought out the wilderness challenges and minigames; the most fun you can have in Red Dead Redemption is prowling the prairie in search of big game, or playing poker for hours on end in the bleakly lit backroom of a shady Armadillo saloon, rain pounding away at the window as the night runs old. But when those challenges ran dry and moved to Mexico, requiring me to complete enough main story missions to follow, I dropped the game like a seven two off suit, and I can promise you that there is no desire to return.

Much praise has been heaped on the story of Red Dead Redemption, primarily because we have so many in the field of gaming journalism who are positively desperate to have gaming legitimized as a recognized art form by the masses, and they are willing to scrounge for any scrap that falls off the table so long as they can extract some form of social commentary or ideological stance out of it. It is counterproductive behavior that will do great harm to the overall quality of gaming narratives over the long run, and I want nothing to do with it.

101. The Binding of Issac [PC, 2011]

The Binding of Issac is a great roguelike with one glaring problem: the combat is no fun at all. And while that usually isn’t a deal breaker for a roguelike, the combat here is front and center; worse yet, the vast majority of the game’s randomly generated equipment, the real star of the show, feeds exclusively into the combat. The excitement of finding a new, unique item is hamstrung by the fact that, despite how cool and useful it may be, it isn’t going to make launching sluggish projectile blobs at moving targets any more engaging than making breakfast (there may, however, be an item that does this for you).

It’s difficult to be too hard on an admittedly small-scale side project, especially when it has such a fantastic randomized hook. I only wish it was just more fun to play.

100. Crayon Physics Deluxe [PC, 2009]

Now here’s a fun little diversion, a game that tasks you with solving simple puzzles with a bit of childlike creativity, your mouse serving as a digital crayon to craft chutes, hammers, catapults, and the like. Crayon Physics Deluxe isn’t a long game, and certainly not a particularly compelling one mechanically, but it’s hard not to give in to the whimsical, pulsating style for a few hours of your time. You can do a lot worse for two-fifty, believe me.